bad bad feeling...

Honestly...

I no longer know what to do...
I somehow have a very bad feeling and dunno how to handle...
I felt heartachs can't be avoided...
I hope i'm wrong... (specially this time)
and i hope things will turn out better...

Now that i heard the answer i dun wan to hear the most...
althought i still pick up the courage to ask...
well it might be a half way anwer...(that whats makes ppl think more)
but still having some answer which is not positive is bad enough...

Well like i always said.. i tried and still trying...
i have improve and change and still doing my best...
whats more can i do?
i'm running out of ideas and i'm getting lost again...
maybe i know my directions but i choose to be lost...

if only time god can give me an answer...
or can god grant me my top 2 wishes asap...
althought i haven been a good boy...
but i'm trying to be...
the prayers i made everyday is the same and wishing for only 1 thing...
since the 1st day i made my decision...

Nora wrote a short phrase.. i find it cool and meaningful...
maybe is because of my mood thats why... but still i like it...
she said she wrote for me... but i think she just wrote for fun and just throw it to me...
here it goes:

Did the leaf depart because the wind courted her...
or because the tree didn't ask her to stay?

nice right?

Well time is running out...
emptiness is filling my heart...
saddness had cold my warm heart...
fear had overcome my senses...
blank is all i read...
faith is fading... but...
feeling won't fade...

counting my days to NS now...
i left with 44 days...

Alright... pray for me the one i loves...
believe in me to believe myself...
standing strong for the seek of love....
love me for who i'm...

alright thats all for today..
these are random mixed feeling in my heart now...
althought its abit emo but well i can say i'm fine and feeling better...

chaos...